“There are no pronouns in the English language as complex as I am, and I do not want to simplify myself in order to neatly fit one or the other.”
PSYCHOTHERAPIST • ACTIVIST • AUTHOR • PUBLIC SPEAKER • CLINICAL SUPERVISOR • CONSULTANT • HERETIC
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PSYCHOTHERAPIST • ACTIVIST • AUTHOR • PUBLIC SPEAKER • CLINICAL SUPERVISOR • CONSULTANT • HERETIC
“There are no pronouns in the English language as complex as I am, and I do not want to simplify myself in order to neatly fit one or the other.”
Welcome! I’m Laura
I have a fundamental belief in compassion, towards ourselves and others, as a philosophy of existence.
I identify as trans and genderqueer, lesbian, kinky, creative, playful, a bit nerdy, and as someone with other intersecting, often marginalized identities.
Genderqueer, by my definition, refers to an active ‘queering’ of gender, a deliberate subversion of gender norms to highlight the artificiality of the gender binary and gender classifications overall. Within myself, I cannot find where one gender ends and another begins. I typically present with some measure of ‘female masculinity’ as a trans woman, though I incorporate femme-ness as well. Clients never need to understand their transness in the same ways as I do mine.
My family history includes systemic oppression, refugee status, and genocide.
Music was my first love; piano lessons began in childhood and later I performed with bands and in studio settings, also composing music and doing sound design for independent theater. Then I moved onto visual arts and became a photographer exhibiting in galleries.
Creativity is inherent in who I am and I still engage in various projects that some friends consider a tad ‘wackadoo’:
Gomez Addams Roleplay
Novice Bassistry
Popsicle Stick Construction
Apartment Demolition
Rubber Duck Arranging
And many years ago as Lawrence Jacobs, I worked in the less glamorous fields of corporate middle management and IT.
Today, I have joys and stressors like everyone else, but generally I live a happy, vibrant life that I share with diverse friends. I dine about town, meander through museums and galleries (I get lost in the Met every… single… time…), gaze in wonder at the Planetarium, delight in basement jazz clubs, and attend various LGBTQIA+, BDSM/kink, and other community events. I’m also glad to have a rewarding profession in which I help others and can be of service.
Lastly, I’m a lovable goofball. I am an avid Muppet fan (Gonzo and Rowlf are my primary role models, and Cookie Monster in moderation), would love nothing more than to soar on the Enterprise (TOS, SNW, or TNG please), and am a member of the Helicon Chamber Music Foundation.
Laura A. Jacobs, LCSW-R, (pronouns: she/they/he/none) is a trans and genderqueer identified psychotherapist, speaker, author, activist, and heretic specializing in transgender and gender nonbinary issues, queer/LGBTQIA+ issues, and sexual diversity including kink/BDSM, polyamory/consensual nonmonogamy, and sex work.
They served a four-year term as the first transgender and genderqueer Chair of the Board of Directors, and ten years on the Board overall for the Callen-Lorde Community Health Center, a multisite, $100M+ healthcare organization with the mission of providing high quality, compassionate care to the LGBTQIA+ community of NYC regardless of ability to pay.
Laura was also the first trans-identified Chair at any LGBTQIA+ Federally Qualified Health Center nationwide. She is also a prolific speaker in the media, at medical, mental health, and community based conferences, in medical schools, and for other organizations, having been featured in the New York Times, NPR, MSNBC, NBCNewsOnline, SiriusXM, CBSNews, Mic.com, TEDx, and more.
Her most recent project, Surviving Transphobia is an anthology featuring 16 prominent transgender and nonbinary figures and was released by Jessica Kingsley Publishers on September 21, 2023. Laura also has authored or coauthored books, chapters, and articles on gender and sexual diversity.
Laura was presented the Standard of Excellence Award by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, and has received other awards as well.
They are a member of the Kink Clinical Guidelines Workgroup, a coalition which developed the first best practices document for the mental health care of those who are interested and/or involved in kink, BDSM, and/or fetish eroticism. As Lawrence Jacobs, he worked in the arts as a musician, composer, and photographer, also in less glamorous positions such as corporate middle management.
AASECT, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists
NASW, The National Association of Social Workers, NY
“In recognition of your dedication and advocacy to ensure high-quality health care for all.”
NY: LCSW-R: 078979R
NJ: LCSW- 44SC054654600
DC: LC200003354
PA: CW025109
IL: #149.027953
RI: ISW04226
NPI: 1477719516
Listed as a Kink Aware Psychotherapist via the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
Member of the Kink Guidelines Workgroup, a body that established the first clinical guidelines for the treatment of kink-involved persons. Currently a member of the Version Two Revision Committee
Member of the Manhattan Alternative coalition of medical and mental health providers working with gender and sexually diverse clients
Certified in the WPATH SOC-8 [World Professional Association for Transgender Health Standards of Care, Version 8]
“I feel much more balanced than when I first started seeing you.”
“Thank you for holding my hand for the last six years [of trauma therapy]; I would never have gotten to this place without you.”
“Laura was very knowledgeable and you could tell that being able to educate and share this information was important.”
“I appreciated the vocabulary lesson and more information on transgender and gender non-conforming issues. Before attending... I may have had difficulty writing that simple sentence. But after listening, I am gaining confidence to write and talk about these issues [in the workplace].”
“Awesome, accessible content, delivered with competence and compassion.”
— Conference Lecture Attendee
“Hearing what I heard [at the conference] was so important. But hearing you specifically got me thinking things and uncovering thoughts I would never have gotten to. So that’s a personal thank you. That’s doing your work as a way of being.”
“I just wanted to let you know that I listen to [SiriusXM’s Doctor Radio channel]... I tuned in while you were speaking and almost shut it off, but did not because I wanted to keep an open mind. I am so glad I listened to the whole show! It taught me a whole lot about transgender [issues], which is a subject I just never tried to understand…”
"Laura’s just such a badass. I just realized how much Laura has done and I just whine to her about ‘my dad is mean to me.’” [Said playfully.]
“I wanted to take this opportunity to pull a couple paperbacks from my shelf that I love and that you should check out. Here is Surviving Transphobia, edited by Laura A. Jacobs, it consists of writing from a multitude of trans and nonbinary voices: athletes, doctors, therapists, nurses, activists, and more, sharing stories and insight. I devoured it and found it very inspirational and hopeful.”
“Transphobia is everywhere and every trans person is threatened by it, no matter our race, age, class, sexuality, or life path. Surviving Transphobia is unique in giving us both deeply moving memoirs of transphobia from brave trans pioneers—and their strategies for dealing with it. Far from being a book of tragic endings, each and every chapter of this first rate collection sees transphobia conquered, and lucky us—we get to learn from the best how to do it for ourselves. A truly important book for both scholars and for every transperson facing transphobia.”
“This is a vital book at a crucial time, executed with such a skillful choice of contributors by Laura. Trans people’s lives and safety are being exploited on both sides of the Atlantic by political operators seeking cheap gains at the polls... Laura has chosen such a diverse and articulate set of contributors to document the real harm. Anyone who doubts the human cost [of political transphobia] for a second must read this. A book I wish I’d created myself, but Laura has done it first and done it better.”
“I can't overstate the importance of this book. It's a collection of real experiences, written by real people who aren't cis, and compiled by someone who is also part of the community. If you're looking for a collection of upbeat, hopeful, sunshine and roses stories, then this isn't what you're looking for.If you want unapologetically real, raw experiences, then you've found the perfect collection. I really hope that this inspires change, and gives strength to those who need it, as they experience many of the same things shared in this book.”
“This ‘insightful and instructive primer’ debunks the twenty-one most common myths and misconceptions about transgender issues – ’buy this book and share it with [your] whole family.’”
“A breath of fresh air. This book provides, with equal measures of scholarship and humanity, thoughtful pushback against the most common misconceptions, misunderstandings, and just plain lies about trans people and the people who love them. A book for everyone, You’re in the Wrong Bathroom will open hearts, change minds, and save lives.”
Author of She’s Not There and Long Black Veil
“This is an ideal book to dispel many pernicious myths that prevent otherwise well-intentioned people from fully understanding the trans experience.”
“This timely publication addresses much of the misinformation about the trans community that persists despite increasing media coverage both popular and serious. The authors scrupulously present the range of different positions on each issue addressed, so anyone hoping for easy cut-and-dried answers will be forced to think again. The book, which will enlighten both general and specialist readers, includes a full range of documentary references, conferences, organizations, and sources of funding for the cause.”
“How fucking wonderful that I have you as a therapist. I’m in awe of how grateful I am.”
“It really aids my therapy that you understand my Star Trek references. I feel confident discussing concepts in a shorthand that we both understand… I feel you appreciate who I am.”
“It helped me to listen to the callers [on SiriusXM] and how you responded to them. You are very professional and… you are the right person to work with these individuals! I now understand how these individuals feel and what they go through in life. I am glad there are people like you to help them walk through their difficult journey. Everybody needs to be happy.”
“Great workshop.. Great sense of self... and sense of humor! What an inspiration.”
"This was an excellent presentation. I specifically enjoyed Laura Jacobs. Her presentation style was great. She was knowledgeable and thoughtful. Her case study was excellent and really encouraged therapists to ask more questions about their motivation and how they are dealing with countertransference issues. Would love to see her present again."
"If I'm becoming someone who is starting to like [much less hateful music and is becoming more compassionate], things must be going in the right direction."
"I really enjoyed getting to read this story during this era of trans hate as a trans person who works in community organizing. It was really hopeful and taught me some important historical wins that haven't been spoken of much. Also a bunch of new role models for my own community work!"
— Reader review